Estimated Reading Time: 3 minutes
For a long time, we have been taught:
"When you're hurting, send love to the other person. Send love to the situation. Expand your heart outward."
At certain times, at certain stages, that teaching has its place. But through experience — through walking sacred paths of pain, growth, and revelation — I’ve come to see a deeper truth.
The Old Pattern: Giving Away Our Blessings
Many years ago, I woke up on my birthday feeling profoundly blessed — filled with love from the Universe. Without thinking, I went outside and tried to send all of it out into the world. I wanted everyone to feel what I was feeling. I wanted to share the blessing instantly. But what followed was one of the worst days I had ever experienced. Everything seemed to collapse into difficulty and emotional exhaustion. Looking back, I see what I didn’t know then: I emptied my vessel.
Instead of receiving and anchoring the blessing given to me, I gave it away. There is a difference between sharing from overflow and unconsciously giving away the very gift meant to nourish you first. It is sacred to hold what is given to you, to be grateful, to allow it to strengthen you. From there — from genuine overflow — true sharing can happen.
The Deeper Realization About Healing Pain
More recently, in the midst of facing very difficult emotional triggers — I found that sending love outward to others or to the situation wasn’t helping.
In fact, it left me feeling worse:
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Empty.
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Deflated.
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Powerless.
Because even in love, there was a hidden expectation:
"Maybe if I send enough love, the situation will change. They will change. It will hurt less."
But that expectation — even wrapped in kindness — is still control. And control is not the path to healing.
A New Practice Emerged: Sending Love to the Emotions Themselves
Now, when the pain rises, when emotions feel unbearable, I don’t send love outward anymore. I send love to the emotions I'm feeling.
I name exactly what I’m feeling:
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Rage.
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Grief.
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Sadness
- Rejection
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Fear.
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Abandonment.
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Betrayal.
I see the emotion — often like a tentacle — extending from my body, and I send my love, to that part of me. I watch the tentacle soften. Sometimes it dissolves into light. Sometimes it blossoms into flowers and flows back into me.
And I remember:
The only responsibility I have is to tend to my own field, my own heart, my own sacred emotions.
Not to fix the other person. Not to control the situation. Not to transmute what was never mine. Just to love what is mine. And to let the rest fall away or flow as it needs.
A Word on Clarity and Sacred Responsibility
We must be clear about what belongs to us and what doesn’t. We must be clear about the words we use when we speak to the Universe. Protecting ourselves is sacred — but controlling what happens outside of us is not our work. It is enough — more than enough — to love what rises within us, to focus on our own heart, and to allow the Universe, energy or others to do the rest.
Anchor What Is Given
When the Universe gifts you something — a blessing, a download, a sacred love —
hold it.
Anchor it.
Be grateful.
It is not selfish, it's what allows you to become a wellspring, rather than a vessel emptied before it can ever truly be filled.
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