Perspective is everything

Choose Growth: From Victimhood to Joy, Compassion and Real Change

Let me share something simple; you can spend your whole life wrapped up in rage, bitterness and the story that the world owes you something, or you can choose a different lens. You can keep telling yourself you are a victim, rehearsing every injustice, keeping your energy stuck in comparison and grievance, or you can get up, take action and use what life gives you to grow. That choice is everything.

This is not a moral lecture, it is a practical invitation. No one is exempt from hardship. Everyone has difficulties. What changes everything is how you look at those difficulties, and what you do with the energy inside of you.

The first baseline: gratitude you probably take for granted

If you have running water, plumbing, food, clothes, heating, cooling, a washing machine or a dishwasher, you are living in luxury compared to billions on this planet. If you have a car and can afford petrol, you are even luckier. These conveniences have a way of making us lazy, of shrinking our sense of gratitude until we forget how much we already have. That’s your first baseline. 

Not to guilt you, but to orient you. Start there so that everything else you build has a sane foundation. Gratitude is not an eraser for difficulty, it is a clarifying lens. When you recognise how much support is already present in your life, you can stop wasting precious energy on self-pity and comparison.

The second baseline: opportunity and the waste of proving who is right

If you live in a country of opportunity, it is ironic how much time people spend arguing about being unfairly treated, about generational trauma, or about proving their version of truth. I see it all the time. It is an epic waste of time and energy. What is that energy doing? Absolutely nothing useful.

You can be angry about your deck of cards, or you can play the hand you were given with excellence. I recently watched a social media post where a man explained it perfectly. He said you can be dealt the best hand in life and completely waste it, or you can be dealt a terrible hand and make it work with everything you have. That difference is not luck alone, it is the decision to take action, have unwavering faith and be persistent.

Stop measuring your worth by what others were given. Stop burning your hours on blame, jealousy or competition. Use that fuel to become the best version of yourself for yourself.

Growth is not one-size-fits-all

Whether you believe in spirituality or not does not really matter. Personal growth can happen through many different avenues. The path that resonates for me might not be the path that works for you, and that is fine. I have done a lot of things with my time, I have tried many modalities, and some brought temporary relief and confidence. But what transformed my inner landscape in a lasting way was what I call spiritual technology.

By that I mean practices and tools that help you expose and remove false belief systems and subconscious patterns that keep you imprisoned in a tiny version of yourself. For me, those practices were practical, fast and cost effective. They helped me recognise the veils of conditioning, peel them away, and rewire the way my inner network responded to life. Once those old layers came off, a limitless field of possibility opened. I could try new things, follow what brought me joy, and actually stay aligned with it.

You do not have to call it spiritual technology, you can call it therapy, mindfulness, cognitive work, somatic practice or anything that helps you dismantle the mental loops that keep you stuck. The point is to find a method that actually changes the structure of your thinking, not just soothes it for a while.

Compassion grows out of experience

One of the gifts of choosing growth is the expansion of compassion. Everything you go through, when processed and integrated, becomes a bridge to understand others. You know what it took to overcome, you know the small, ugly, gritty, human details behind the victory. That gives you the capacity to help someone else, not because you are superior, but because you have walked through similar fire and can guide them with practical empathy.

There is no honour in staying bitter, only suffering. Use your pain to become wise, and use that wisdom to help others.

Practical steps to start today

Here are concrete, simple steps you can take right now. They are not flashy, they are not a shortcut, but they work if you do them consistently.

1. Start with three minutes of noticing each morning. Before your day begins, sit and notice what is in front of you. Running water, a roof, food. Name three practical things you have and say thank you. This resets perspective.

2. Quit one comparison habit. Notice where you waste time comparing yourself to someone else online. Replace five minutes of scrolling with five minutes of doing something that brings you real joy, even if it feels small.

3. Listen for your inner voice. That small, true whisper inside you knows what brings joy. Make a list of three activities that genuinely light you up. Commit to doing one of them this week for at least thirty minutes.

4. Do a truth audit. When you feel stuck or angriest, write down the story you are telling yourself about the situation. Then ask, is that story true, fully true, or a convenient justification to stay stuck? This helps expose the subconscious patterns.

5. Choose one practice that changes your internal wiring. This could be a meditation practice, breathwork, a somatic exercise, a coaching process, or any method that helps you identify and reprogram your self-limiting beliefs. Stick with it long enough to see structural change, not just an emotional lift.

6. Act small, act daily. Growth is the accumulation of small, consistent choices. Changing one habit, saying no one more time, showing up when it is easier not to, builds a new life.

What to do with anger

Anger is a signal, not a life plan. Use it like fuel for change, not like a blanket that suffocates you. If you are mad about injustice, let that anger motivate service, improvement, learning and action. If you are bitter because someone else has more than you, turn that bitterness into curiosity about what steps they took that you might adapt. The aim is not to invalidate real suffering, the aim is to not let suffering define your whole life.

Final word — be compassionate, especially to yourself

Have compassion for those around you. Most people are doing the best they can with the resources they have. Most people are trapped in stories you cannot see. But most importantly, have compassion for yourself. Rise above what holds you down, and do everything you can to better yourself each and every day.

If you have joy in your life, follow it. If you do the hard work of clearing your internal clutter, joy finds you faster than you expect. The world is messy, unjust and very real, but there is more good than you imagine. Choose to notice that good, and to be the kind of person who acts with courage and kindness.

You can write this off as blunt and aspirational. You can keep rehearsing victimhood. Or you can take action now, choose growth, and begin building a life you are proud to live and proud to share.