Coherence, Growth, and the Art of Being Human

Seeking Coherence and Alignment

Sometimes we go through periods where we need coherence. We seek alignment in our experiences, our perceptions, and the people around us. Not necessarily a “vibration,” but a sense of resonance, a certain similarity in understanding, preferences, and way of being. There’s comfort in that. There’s clarity.

Coherence, feeling good, chasing bliss, pursuing spiritual growth, and striving for self-mastery are all very different things, yet they are often spoken about as though they are the same path. They are not. Spiritual growth is an understanding of initiation, of moving through layers of experience, learning, and awakening. Self-mastery is about holding your own energy, navigating challenges, and consciously shaping your life. Feeling good or chasing bliss may be part of the journey, but they are only facets, not the entirety of it.

Learning from Early Experiences

When I first started on my spiritual path, particularly in one of the courses I did quite a while ago that involved working with the ascended masters, I was told that the goal was bliss. That this was what I should work toward. And for a long time, that was exactly what I sought. That is what people often equate with enlightenment or reaching the higher levels of mastery, the pursuit of feeling constantly uplifted, peaceful, and “aligned.”

I have to say, at this point in my journey, that is not something I actually seek. I found that lens unhelpful. In fact, for me, it became incredibly unhelpful. The pursuit of bliss as an end goal, especially while living fully in this human form, felt limiting, frustrating, and even miserable at times. When I shifted my focus to growth, expansion, and consciousness, exploring all of its facets, my path became far more enjoyable. I could embrace the twists and turns, the ups and downs, the ins and outs of life, knowing that every experience had meaning. Growth became the holy grail, rather than an idealized state of constant bliss.

Different Roles, Different Priorities

All of these aspects, coherence, joy, growth, mastery, are important, but sometimes they play different roles, take on different intensities, or have different priorities in our lives. Sometimes we simply need to be human: to play, to enjoy, to rest. Other times we need to be incredibly still, observing, reflecting, integrating.

There is an art to this. An art in being in tune with the energies around and within you, in understanding your own role in life, your personal growth, your expansion, and the collective goals you came here to support. There is a fine dance between your inner work, your personal evolution, and the contribution you are making to others. Sometimes these elements align perfectly. Sometimes they diverge. But all of them are essential.

Choice and Destiny

Depending on what you believe the “holy quest” is, the ultimate goal, the holy grail, you will shape your life around that belief. And the reality is that you do shape your own experience. Your beliefs, intentions, and priorities influence the kind of life you create.

So the question becomes: is there an ultimate destiny?

Not really.

Because ultimately, you are destiny.

You came here with plans, goals, initiations, and experiences you wanted to move through. You came here to achieve many things, not only for yourself but also in support of others. Human life is far more interconnected than most people realize. Many of the roles you play are not only about your own growth, but about supporting someone else’s journey, awakening, lesson, or evolution. All of this is masterfully intertwined into experience. There are certainly aspects where divine support is present. There are moments when guidance, synchronicity, and unseen support step in. But is the Divine shaping the entire experience for you, removing your free will or making all of your choices for you?

No.

You came here specifically so that you could choose. You came here to experience choice and the outcomes that follow those choices.

When Bliss Becomes the Goal

Some people approach spirituality believing that the purpose of life is simply to feel good, to chase bliss, love, peace, and 'positive vibes' all the time. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good; in fact, feeling good is beautiful. Love, joy, and peace are essential parts of life. But if feeling good becomes the entire goal, something eventually begins to feel incomplete, a little superficial, lacking in depth, meaning, or purpose.

At some point along that path, many people quietly sense that something is missing. Human experience is richer and more complex than simply maintaining a pleasant emotional state. Life is not only bliss. It is also curiosity, exploration, creativity, growth, challenge, learning, and discovery. We are complex beings. And yet, we are also very simple beings. Both of these realities exist simultaneously.

The Seasons of Life

There are times in life when you want to rest. Right now, for example, I want to rest. I want enjoyable, beautiful, fun, happy moments. I want to spend time in nature. I want to connect with my family. I want to simply enjoy life for a little while. But I do not want that to be my life forever, I want that for a few weeks. Then I will naturally return to being busy again, setting goals, creating things, building things, making things happen. Life moves in seasons. There are periods of creation, periods of rest, periods of reflection, and periods of expansion. Problems arise when we believe we should only be in one state all the time.

Growth and Learning Are Not the Same Thing

There is a common belief that people only grow through suffering and struggle. That is not entirely accurate. Suffering and hardship are powerful teachers. They are moments where we learn. Through challenge, we learn about ourselves, we learn our preferences, we learn what we want and what we no longer want. We learn our limits, our boundaries, and our values. But learning is not the same as growth. Growth happens in a very different environment. Growth happens when there is love, when there is joy, when there is nourishment, when there is space to breathe and recover.

In many ways, we are very similar to plants. Plants need the right environment, the right amount of water, sunlight, care, and attention. They also need pruning from time to time. Without those conditions, they struggle. Humans are exactly the same. We need nurturing environments, supportive relationships, rest, joy, and care. When those conditions exist, growth happens naturally. Learning may come through difficulty. Growth comes through nourishment. The two work together, but they are not the same thing.

The Reality You Create

For many years I had a very strong belief about life. I believed that while I was here, I should work as hard as possible. I wanted to expand my consciousness as much as I could. I wanted to achieve everything possible, experience everything possible, and make every second count. Part of me thought that if I worked hard enough, learned enough, evolved enough, maybe I would not have to come back and do this all again. So I created that reality and that reality became incredibly busy.

There was always something happening. Always something to do. Always something arriving. It felt relentless. At times I even found myself frustrated, feeling like the universe was constantly throwing things at me. But when I really looked at it honestly, I realized something important. The universe was not doing it to me, I had asked for it. I had set the intention for constant growth, constant expansion, constant movement. And so life delivered exactly that.

Now my intention is slightly different. I still want the growth I still want the creativity. I still want the expansion. But I also want to slow down for a while. I want joy. I want love. I want celebration. I want fun. I want moments where life simply feels beautiful.

And that is equally valid.

Letting Go of Expectations

Not everything will go the way you hoped. Not everything will turn out the way you imagined. But when things do not go the way I expected, I ask myself one simple question:

Did I learn something?

The answer is always yes. Sometimes the lesson is profound. Sometimes it is very small. Sometimes it is simply new information or a different perspective. But there is always something. When you stop demanding specific outcomes, life becomes far more enjoyable. It becomes more manageable, more creative, more flexible. More open to possibilities you had not previously considered.

Expectations create tension. Curiosity creates freedom.